On plants and love...

The plants are growing. It is amazing how their small green hands reach up without anyone ever telling them to do so. The oleander, which I had not wasted any hope on, is like a new plant. You would never know this chaotic green living thing, with disorganized leaves sprouting from every imaginable piece of bark, you'd never know it was the dead pile of sticks I reluctantly re-potted last week... doubting it would grow. And now a cacophony of green, so brilliant. I love it...

It reminds me of love...

You are so withered, so tired of trying. You're pretty sure you'll give up on the whole concept all together; as far as you can tell the idea of it seems pretty useless... then someone comes along and you resist hoping because you know what it has done to you before... to hope and then have that hope crushed... but pale and beautiful this thing pushes on. Surging until it is wildly out of your control... growing growing, spreading out its limbs and consuming you, and now it's vibrant and pulsing. You become simply the host body to this organic entity now inhabiting the dry husk you carried around. No! Now you are really alive.

This is love. This is planting and growing and nature.

We can't help it. And I love that it happens without ever being told to happen. I tried once to really make myself love someone and it ended in disaster, as most forced things do. No, you really really can't help what you feel or who you love, and most of the time we can't say why we love either. And hope comes burgeoning in even when you stomp it down.

I want to read love letters. I want to read love letters, please. I want to understand the humanity that is in all of us... that every person feels this burning passion... I want letters from 90 year old men written to their sweethearts when they were young. I want naughty letters of passion to lovers and mistresses. I want sweet simple letters. I want the confused letters of someone who doesn't know they love this person, or thinks they still do. I have been looking for these for some time now. I want to read them all because I want to see what we share in common.

It is amazing to me that you do not have to be rich, or live some fairy tale life to be the proud owner of the world's most highly sought commodity. It is amazing to me that driving down the road I can glance at every car I see and wonder to myself, what is their story? And every couple has some story of how they met and their first kiss and the first time they made love. Every person can tell about the love that stopped the sun. And it is theirs. We all feel our love OUR LOVE is the most amazing thing, the most intimate and earth-shaking love... I want to hear a thousand stories that all declare the same thing...