12.12.2007

I can't believe I'm posting this...

Ok... so a lot of people have been asking for updates... so I'll start at the beginning and let you know what I know...

About 5 weeks ago I noticed a lump in my left breast with little to no pain and was mildly concerned about it, but my age made me pretty confident that there was nothing majorly wrong...

The first time I visited the ER they were pretty sure it was either a cyst or a tumor and even then I figured if it was a tumor it would be benign. Alot of women in their early 20's get benign tumors called fibroids in their breasts. Approximately 2 weeks later, the day before Thanksgiving, I noticed that overnight my lump began to be extreemly painful and there was red from my armpit to my nipple. The nipple had begun to retract (pull in, like an innie belly button) and had a bruised look to it. Also the skin was dimpling, almost like the surface of an orange peel.

I went to the ER again and they treated me for an infection, which seemed to help the redness, but the lump stayed. I took the medicine for about 2 weeks and within days of being done with it the redness had come back. I went back to the ER and they sent me to an Urgent Care Clinic where that doctor told me the clinical diagnosis was Inflamatory Breast Cancer, a rare and very aggressive cancer.

At this point I'm wading through red tape and trying to get into the system from every angle imaginable.

There is currently no biopsy or PET scan to confirm that this is cancer, so, call me crazy, I'm choosing to hold onto the hope that the doctor who made the diagnosis was WRONG. And I would gladly forgive him if he was...

The reality is though, that I have been tired and in pain for no reason for weeks, I have had 3 periods in the course of 6 weeks (yeah...), occasional nose bleeds and a significant amount of weight loss, and hair loss. And upon palpation of my lymph nodes the doctor noted that they are swollen.

So I am prepared to hear that this doctor is correct. And we're currently acting with the thought that the worst case scenario is our reality.

Most of the time I am ok, although this is still so fresh that I find myself bursting into tears unexpectedly. I have had so so so many people offer help, support, prayer, time, an ear, money, but most of all love! Thank you so much guys. I'll keep you posted.

:)
"...everything will be alright, everything will be alright..."

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